A change of direction

My thanks to those of you who have stuck with me through the months of silence, especially Carole in Utah. Although I'm a bit ashamed to say it, when we took Eldest Son all the way to western Pennsylvania to start college, my depression crested to a point that I couldn't write. I managed to stay up with my job, which is stressful, but I had no energy left over to post anything. You probably wouldn't have wanted to read my dreary ramblings anyway. 


When I started to recover from that, I looked around, saw a gazillion new low-carb blogs on the 'net, and figured that the niche was over-crowded to the point that one more non-humor- or -recipe-based low-carb blog wasn't going to make any difference.


Now, that I'm out of my London-foggy funk, I find that I'm a statistic, one of the many with a failed Lap-Band. "Oh, bother," as Pooh says.


I have gained back most of the weight I initially lost with the band, even though I eat low-carb. I am reduced to eating almost nothing but dairy protein (or very greasy food), because instead of doing 8 - 10 adjustments to my band, my quack-tor did 3. I went from zero to 7 CC in an 11 CC band in three visits. My band is too tight, has been for years, which has presented me a few challenges:


1. I cannot eat the way I need to maintain weight loss. Healthy veggies can't pass through the band. I can't eat any leftover or dry-ish animal protein because it gets stuck. Salads do the same, and leave me hungry afterwards. 


2. The area where the band has compressed may be damaged, as my esophagus may be dilated due to having to fight against the back pressure. Until I have my fluoroscopy, the bariatric surgeon won't know for sure.


Now, the real challenge. Sure, I can have the band out. But what do I do in the meantime? I am terrified to the point of having nightmares at the thought of having nothing left in place to help me get back down to a healthy weight. 


This link, http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/236626.php, is only one of many that has hit the 'net lately, showing that the people who have always told me, "Just push away from the table," are morons. MORONS. Obesity and weight loss are so complex as to be beyond Einstein. It's the hormones, stupid.


Do I have a Lap-Band revision? Do I have a by-pass? A Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy? A Duodenal Switch? Will the surgeon even care enough to help me find a surgical alternative? Or will s/he be a "Table. Push away," kind of person? *sigh* Morons, I tell you.


So, I'm not sure where to go from here. I do know that I am going to blog about the journey, whether anyone else comes with me or not. There are low-carb bloggers out there who amuse greatly, yet are still fat. There are ones who make it all look easy. I read them, too. All I know is that there have got to be folks out there like me, who have done everything nutritionally "right," and have reaped few rewards.

I don't think that I'm alone. But, even if I am, I will still put the journey on the map.


The Bionic Broad out.