Addiction interdiction

I belong to an on-line forum for sleevers, and lately, I've noticed posts from people who are angry because they can't eat (fill in the blank). And I mean angry.


Let me get this straight: Two weeks of a pre-op diet, which is liquids, with maybe a tiny protein meal, about 500 calories a day. Two days pre-op, clear liquids only, about 300 calories. The surgery, where 85% of the stomach is removed (along with my failed Lap-band and my gall bladder). About a week post-op, clear liquids only, about 300 calories a day. A week of liquids, about 300 - 500 calories a day. Six weeks of "mushies," like poached eggs, pureed meats, and cottage cheese, about 600 calories a day. And then off to "soft" foods, for who knows how long, because I'm not there yet.


Why in the (oo la la) put yourself through all this to get angry about not being able to eat crap and carbage?!? Why did you have the surgery, you ignorant twit? (Twittess?)


I got up to 250 pounds (I'm 5'7") by eating a pound of Skittles and a pound of M & Ms every weekend, along with 10 tacos at a time, with boxes of cookies, and pints of full-fat premium ice cream, and halves of medium pizzas, and potatoes in all their forms. There was no mystery about why I was morbidly obese.


Medically-supervised fast, got to 180. Gained it all back. Phen-fen, got to 180. Gained it back. Weight Watchers, got to 180. Gained it back. Enter low-carb, and I was doing pretty well. Medical emergency in '08, and ended up back at 220.


Then, the Lap-band, touted as my saving grace, and could have been, if Dr. Lack-of-care hadn't been a greedy guts by maxing out my Band in 2 - 3 visits. For years, I couldn't eat anything but "sliders," soft, greasy, hgh- and empty-calorie foods. Ending weight: 230.


Vertical sleeve gastrectomy, 3 weeks post-op today, 29 pounds down. Struggling to get all my water, vitamins, minerals, and protein into a 4 ounce stomach, which will be 6 - 8 ounces when it heals. 


Have I been angry about not being able to eat (fill in the blank)? Yes, but only once. I came home and smelled my Best Half frying Burger's Smokehouse ham.Waaa! But I pureed some, and although it wasn't fried, the ham taste was a piece of heaven on earth. Case closed.


It's not like I don't know what chocolate, or cookies, or cake, or ice cream, or mashed potatoes, or gravy, or potato chips, or pie, or whatever, taste like. I've eaten them all my life. No mystery there. Why would I have the surgery, knowing full well that to go back to my earlier habits could be fatal, and whine and pule about what I can't eat? Now, if Andrew Zimmern came along, with handfuls of exotic "delights" that have never touched my lips, maybe I'd have an argument. ("But I never got a chance to eat the anus of an aardvark!")


But, for now, I am living within the restrictions and requirements of a surgery I CHOSE, following the lifestyle I CHOSE, and, God-willing, will reap the benefits of said restrictions.


Quit whining, and eat yer' protein.


The Bionic Broad out.